The Essence

Looking at our old pictures, we surprised ourselves. Is that really us? Just a few years ago, with neat hairdos and simple clothes, we looked so vibrant.

My teenage daughter, Vrinda, has recently become more interested in hair color, stylish clothes, shoes, and other fashion trends. One day, during a relaxed conversation, I decided to share a story with her.

“Once upon a time” I began, “A villager discovered an ancient bread-making recipe. He bought a machine and used the best ingredients, but he didn’t get the expected results. Can you tell why?”

Vrinda thought for a moment and guessed, “Maybe he forgot the main ingredient… or maybe the ratio of ingredients was wrong… or the machine wasn’t good enough.”

I smiled, “Everything was perfect,” I said. “He forgot to switch on the machine.”

Vrinda rolled her eyes and groaned. “That was a lame joke. You can be silly at times.”

“Yes, it was silly, I admitted, “But we do this to ourselves too. Despite eating the best food, we sometimes don’t get the desired results. To properly digest food and absorb its nutrients, we need vitamins like B12, C, and D. Without them, even the best food is wasted.”

I continued the story. “The villager switched on the machine but he still did not get the desired results.”

Vrinda, now visibly bored, “The factory’s main power  must have been off.”

“Exactly,” I said. “The main power of our body is our mind. When mind is relax whole system works magically.

You may not believe this, but I used to be very different. I was lazy, unmotivated, and easily overwhelmed. I avoided challenges and found comfort in my routine. Winters were unbearable, and I spend most of my time in bed. I frequently fell sick and lost interest in life. My favourite past was sleeping or watching television.  

“But everything changed gradually when I started meditation. At 50, I feel younger than I did at 30. I go to the gym, enjoy winter session the most, and I can’t even remember the last time I fell sick. Before, the idea of leaning classical vocal music was unimaginable, but now I am one of the best student in my class. I also paint, learn kathak, and enjoy my work. Meditation has transformed me into a fast leaner. As I feel good inside, I eat right too. I know with the help of my healthy mind and body I can achieve very thing. When we simplify our lives, everything improves.”

Vrinda asked, “What is simplicity?”

“To be”, I replied. It’s not easy to explain, but let me try. A child can be jealous, greedy, opportunistic, yet still innocent. How? Because a child expresses exactly what they feel – whether they are sad, happy, or greedy. What they feel inside is reflected outside. Grown-ups, on the other hand, often do the opposite. 

Vrinda nodded thoughtfully, “People find children cute even when they are angry or overreacting because their behaviour isn’t judged.”

“Exactly,” I said, “But more importantly, children aren’t worried about being judged. That’s what make them natural and spontaneous. Acceptance from parents helps the most – it creates a safe space for children to express their emotions freely.”

Vrinda reflected, “As grown-ups, we are worried about what people think of us. We can’t help it. So, how do we deal with anger? Should I try to think positively about the situation or the people involved?”  

“If a machine isn’t working, I said, “will thinking positively help? Instead of reacting badly, take a moment to step back and feel the anger. Your mind will wrestle with the thoughts like  ‘It’s a small issue, let it go… No, I need to correct this person…I should be the bigger person… No, I should teach them a lesson,’ and so on.”

Vrinda signed, “Yes. It is a torturous inner conversation. I don’t want it. This is what we are running from to escape – being on phone helps. No really, but easy way out.”

Before I could say anything she said, “Not really…”

“That is called inner work,” I said. “Don’t disturb the process. Let it take its own time. It might take a day, a week, or a month. But one day , something magical will happen. Meditation helps us to tolerate difficult inner conversations. That’s the beauty of meditation – it creates space for transformation.”

Vrinda smile fainted, “Hmm… maybe one day I’ll give it a try.”

I smiled back , knowing that seed of change are often planted in quiet moments like these. And who knows? Perhaps one day, when she looks back at her journey, she will surprise herself, just like I did, realizing how simple yet profound the path to happiness can be”