Teenage Crush

I was the eldest sister among my siblings and soon became financially independent. My youngest sister was in senior school. She used to share everything about her friends and daily life. At least I thought so. One day, I came to know that she likes a boy, but I found him inappropriate for her. I tried to explain her but no use. Then I threatened her to tell our granny. My sister almost convinced me that she would not see him anymore.From that day she stopped sharing and spending time with me. I justified myself doing the right thing for her.

A few months later, I found that she was still with the same boy. I wondered how to solve this problem? Meanwhile, I wanted to leave my job to learn dancing, but granny opposed it, which made my desire even more strong. I left my job and joined the dance classes. I realized, that resistance strengthens the desire.

It is human tendency to rebel, to act opposite especially when we don’t get the expected understanding from family.

This gave me an idea to deal with my sister’s teenage crush. I encouraged my sister to have more friends, and also gave her some pocket money to enjoy with her friends. This not only surprised her but all her friends too. She made many new friends.

Finding no resistance simplified the whole process. Some of her friendship lasted for a few months or a year and then she moved on naturally.

Her own experience helped her to discriminate between good and not so good. Space gave her unspoken responsibility, which was far more valuable.

My interference would have delayed the process. I surprised myself and learned much from the situation.

Presently, my daughter is a teenager; I try to use the same experience. Also, I often get worried, if she gets late, and my mind starts making stories out of fear. I am eager to call her but I stop myself and wait for another half an hour, and try to stay focused on my chores.

When my daughter comes back home, she tells me “Mom you did not call me once all this time, but my friend’s mom was calling him every hour.”

My daughter sometimes out of nothing comes and hugs me, kisses me, and says I love you, mom. At that point, I feel that I have not only won her trust but her heart too.