Laddoo

It is said that “The root cause of all miseries is our desires”. For many years I kept pondering on it.

Are desires so bad? Imagine there are no desires left, nothing to achieve, nowhere to go. Firstly, it is very difficult to live in such a state of mind? Secondly, is God not there in desires too?

As a young child, I was fond of a particular biscuit. Whenever some guests came, mom served them. The only thing on my mind was that they better not eat many. As soon as they left I quickly grabbed them, fighting with my siblings over them.

Papa observed my behavior, and one day suddenly, he bought 5kg of the same biscuit for me. I was very happy, all were mine; no need to share with anyone. But after eating 10 biscuits I realized I was done… forever.

Another time, I remember my fondness for Laddoo (Indian sweet). I told granny to give me some but she asked me to finish this and that work, in the end, she gave me only one Laddoo. I cried and fought with granny to give me more.

The next day, papa took me to the sweet shop. Papa asked the shopkeeper to bring his order. He surprised everyone around by ordering a special jumbo-sized Ladoo.

Papa said, “This is only for you”

This made me so happy.

I carried the Laddoo back home to tease my siblings and eat in peace. By the time I reached home, I did not feel like tasting it. Looking at it all the time on the way back, I was satisfied.

I made a face and said to papa, “Why do you do this to me every time?” He softly said, “Because I don’t want you to be greedy.”

Hiding from granny, papa often used to get sweets, fruits, and snacks during our school lunch break. That was the best time at the school.

Papa never bought us any expensive clothes and toys or took us on expensive holidays, yet his unconditional love,, patience, tolerance, and fulfilling our simplest desire for food is all I remember.

Later in life, I explored many food joints, different Indian cuisines, looking for better taste. I realized that only my cooked food can truly satisfy me. I put my attention and love into cooking to get the desired taste. 

In the process of satisfying my food carving, I learned not only to differentiate between greed and desire also felt the strong connection between desires in whole and food. As my food curving got satisfied so did my desires. And papa knew it.