DANCING ALONE

After learning classical Bharatnatyam dance for 5 years. One day, I decided to choreograph a Bajan. I took many days to think about how to set the beat. It was my first time. I took a long time on each line, to feel the song and then to think of appropriate steps on it. After a month of working for hours every day finally, it got finished.  Yet I was not confident about how it turned out to be. I showed it to my younger sisters, they liked it. Still, I was not sure. What they know about dance! One day my dancer friend came to visit me. She had been choreographing for her temple festivals.  After lunch, I hesitantly told her that I had also choreographed something. 

She asked me to show it to her. She liked it so much that she wanted to learn the same choreography from me. She told me that she would perform it on the stage. Now I not only felt confident but jealous too. Everyone will praise her and nobody will come to know who has choreographed it.

I felt a strong desire to dance on the stage and show my talent to the world. I used to visit a nearby temple every day. They had a big auditorium. Often, it was filled with people on special festival occasions. I approached the concerned person, he told me to talk to this person and that. One person referred me to another. Nobody took me seriously. I kept asking many people “Just give me a chance, it will take only 2 minutes”. I thought, I am volunteering in this temple, working in the kitchen, distributing books, attending all the lectures, and serving at festivals yet they are so inconsiderate.

After many months nothing worked. I stopped pushing it. One day a foreign dancer friend visited me and she said, “If you introduce me to the temple president, I can convince him.  Then we both can dance together.” I said, “It is a good idea but I have been approaching them for many months, and it is difficult to convince them. Instead of giving me a chance, they put up all the boring and worthless performances on the stage.” She said, “Let me just talk to them once.” I took her to the president of the temple and left for temple kitchen work. 

After half an hour she came to me and said, “It is done. They have given us two two-minute time slot at the end of the cultural program starting next month”.  I was happy that finally, I get to perform on the stage. Also, I was surprised how my friend managed to do that and I could not!

Every day for 2 hours we practiced sincerely for a month. We got the best jewelry, and the best dress design. The big day arrived. We both went five hours before the program started. The green room was filled with the children, who were going to perform before us. A temple lady, a non-professional had organised the dance for the children. She rudely refused us to use the green room. 

My friend told me to follow her. She took me deep inside the temple in a dark room. What room is this? It seemed like a new auditorium was under construction. She used her mobile phone to put on some light and told me to come behind the chairs. I followed her. We changed the dress somehow and wore the makeup without the mirror.

The program got started. One after another…all boring. The auditorium was filled with people. There was no place to stand. It seems people have never seen a good performance. I was getting anxious and excited. It was getting late and the boring program did not seem to end any sooner. It was 10 pm, and finally, our names were announced. What is this? People started to leave the auditorium. There was a free dinner Prasad after the program and people were hungry. Almost everyone left except four people, my aunt, one boy, the temple president, and one lady who organized the children’s program. She was curious to see how we perform. 

I was disheartened. But my friend told me let us dance. I followed her. I danced with my full heart to it and enjoyed every minute. And after that, I came out of the auditorium fully satisfied and went to have dinner at the temple. The president of the temple came to me and said, “It was a beautiful performance by both of you, the pleasure for the eyes. Sadly people left. ”

But I was not regretting anything. That moment what I realized, it not only made me very happy but remained with me till date. 

“God can do everything in an eye blink. The person can become no one to be well known. It is just a moment when the whole game changes. It is just a moment when a failure turns into success. This process is so beautiful, feel it, live it. It is meant to be enjoyed. There is a pleasure in uncertainty, and doubts because then we explore more, we learn more about ourselves. In the end, we have a great story to share. 

There is fun in the struggle. Actually, there is no struggle in a so-called struggle. I was so blissful at that point in time for no reason. Oh.. this journey is so wonderful.

After that, the temple lady who watched me dance gave me many chances to dance and choreograph with temple children. Later, I performed solo many times till one day I was done.