A Lot like Love

Every time we experience something different in a new relationship; never felt this before. But after a while, we somehow lose interest. The feeling simply evaporates, leaving us confused.  How did it change so suddenly within us? We don’t even know ourselves. What do we say to the other person, why I don’t want to be with you anymore?

What the mind cannot analyze declares it as a fool’s pass time.

We comfort ourselves by believing that fools follow the heart. Love is nothing but a play of hormones. Life is about adjustments and compromise. We spend our entire life pretending everything is ok. Oh yes, we are so good at that. And our life remains a bouquet of unresolved conflicts.  

The mind lacks the capacity to understand many things; how life suddenly appear and disappear? Who is managing every detail of our existence? What happens after death? How are thoughts formed? Why does so called love fade, leaving us searching for someone who “gets us”? Why our love is dependent on how the other person makes us feel? Have we ever questioned this? 

Often, decisions are calculative, based on fear and benefits. The heart always tells us to follow love, irrespective of benefits, security, and comforts but we dismiss it as foolish and impractical.

But the important question is, how can we love someone when we don’t have enough for ourselves?

It is like asking a beggar for help. If he gives away a little of what he has, he suffers and if he does not, he still suffers, but in guilt. Whatever little love we have after pouring it all on one relationship, empties us and then we demand it back, rather more in return.

We all need to be rich in love, like a king so that we share it without losing our prosperity. That is not easy.

The mind has no ability to understand love. Only we could understand, what ‘not’ love is.

The commitment of love is like saying, “I commit to never die, I commit to never feel hurgry, I commit to never change” But change is inevitable. How can we promise what is beyond our control?

Commitment is only demanded when we subconsciously know that things are bound to change. This insecurity drives us to control each other through social pressure. But love does not require commitment. A mother never makes a commitment that she will love her child forever – it simply happens.

When we talk about love between a man and a woman, we are offen referring to physical attraction. And because of this, we are confused. If we acknowledge this we become more aware. For a moment just remove this physicality from the equation, we begin to understand love from broader perspective.

So, what is stability then? One knows when one is there. Like a river flows and flows till it meets the ocean. Then no confirmation is needed. Love is effortless, blissful, no suffering, no compromise, it just happens. In love, acceptance crosses all limits.

Our soul is only concerned with our growth and nothing else. Following it, one might not achieve anything materially but will surely lead us to something.